My new blog project

I'm writing a new blog for my employer and I hope everyone will take a look.

The blog deals primarily with what it's like working for a Kansas City advertising agency, gives helpful hints on website design and creativity. I'm also going to take on some really hard-hitting subjects, like weather, sports and whether or not Kansas City BBQ is the best in the country. (Nope, but it's good!)

For more spur of the moment thoughts, check out the Powerhouse Facebook page and become a fan. Usually the posts I make there are about funny ads, crappy ads or badvertising, as I like to call it, social media, design and copywriting.

Also for those of you on Twitter, check out the Powerhouse Twitter page for articles and thoughts about the industry and Kansas City website design.

Feel free to post your thoughts about whatever the subject matter at hand is. And feel free to contact me about any questions you might have regarding the industry.

This Ad Makes Smoking Look Cool

I record a couple of late night poker shows and watch them early when no one else is up. It's my "me time." One stands out as "badvertising," even as I'm fast-forwarding, so I've stopped to watch it a couple of times.

The Smoke Assist Electronic Smoking Device commercial runs on almost every break. It's not sold as a smoking cessation product, but something to help you legally look like you're smoking. It's branded outrightly as an oral fixation product. It even comes in a box that looks like a pack of cigarettes, the modern day gadget equivalent of the candy cigarettes of the 1960s.

The actors all say they're so amazed that it's just like smoking. But they all look very unnatural with the little vapor chimneys. They don't hold them right. They don't exhale right. The redhead woman looks like Gene Simmons breathing fire during the second KISS farewell tour.

One guy holds it like a remote control rather than a true cancer stick. "It's really smooth, too," he says. Of course it is! It's roughly equivalent to stepping outside on a cold day, holding your breath and breathing out real hard.

But there's something else wrong. They're all laughing and having a good time. There's something else amiss with the spot. They all just look... what's the word?

Happy.

Smokers don't look happy smoking, so there's no sense of realism in the spot. I have an opinion as to why. It's because these actors are getting paid to act like they're smoking. No self-respecting smoker, even one who needs the money, will take the gig. They are nothing if not loyal, to their vice. They can't (or won't) act like this simulates really smoking, because it really doesn't. I've never been a smoker and I know it's nothing like smoking.

The commercial assertains that you can legally puff away anywhere on the little battery powered steam maker. Bars, restaurants, even at work, the commercial says.

Real smokers, in a show or rebellious solidarity, brave the elements in order to get their nicotine fix. They are as true to their habit as a mail carrier is to carrying out appointed rounds; neither snow, nor rain, nor recently passed city ordinance...

As they're out there in defiance of their two common enemies, pink lung tissue and clean air in public establishments, they'll have the time to look through the windows at a cloud of clean, water vapor floating the air. The smokers have a common thought. "That guy is the biggest douche I've ever seen. I hope he forgets to exhale that water vapor, it sits in his lungs and he develops pneumonia."

Of course, the militant non-smokers will see him looking like he's smoking and walk over and say in a very non-judgmental way: "Why do you do that to yourself? It's so dirty and unhealthy. Do you know what you're doing to your body? Smoking cuts nine years off your life. Second-hand smoke is even more dangerous and you shouldn't expose others to your habit. How do you stand the smell on your clothes when you get home? It's just disgusting and it's against the law to smoke in a public place. Could you please step outside with the rest of the dirty people?"

"Ma'am, this is an electronic smoking device. It's battery operated. It looks and tastes like smoke, but I'm exhaling clean water vapor. So it's not against the law," our hero explains.

"Oh," she says, "You're not a real smoker. You're just a douche!"

Deep down, he knows she's right. But he takes another drag off the modified squirt gun in rightous indignation. As the water vapor cloud fades into nothingness, along with the last shreds of his dignity, it's time for reflection. I mean, when a militant smoke nazi calls you out, you've really got to take stock of your vices.

Even your fake vices.

Seven years of college down the drain

It seems like just a funny line out of "Animal House," but I'm living it right now. I never thought a master's degree would hinder my job search, but I'm beginning to realize that it may be doing just that.

I've talked to several human resources people, and several have made comments about being "overqualified" or "out of our salary range" and I've had to practically beg for an interview.

I'm almost to the point where I want to lie on my resume, but that really presents a moral and ethical dilemma. If I only say that I have a bachelor's degree, that could open a few more doors, but if a company that hires me discovers the lie, I could be terminated.

The problem is that I'm at a serious crossroads in my career path. I've got experience in my chosen profession, but I took a few years off to pursue other interests. Now I want back in, but some prospective employers have thought that my skills are rusty or outdated. There are those who think that I would have higher salary demands.

I have seven years of top quality education, and I'm sitting on the sidelines and my most productive years are in danger of being wasted. I don't know what to do. There's a faint voice, coming from far away.

"Toga... toga... toga..."

Writer's Block

I've had writer's block for a while now.

Going on 10 years now, I guess.

I never realized my goal to be a copywriter at an advertising agency. What got in the way? First, a job making real money. The comfort that comes from making real money.  Second, self-employment. It seems to suck everything out of you.

Now I'm to the point where I have to go after my goal. When I graduated, I want to become a copywriter. I guess, however, now I'll be the "world's oldest rookie copywriter."

The good news is that I took my stripped down portfolio to a creative director and he had some nice things to say about my work. He challenged me to write a campaign for a very specific and very odd product. It is one that will definitely differentiate my portfolio from those coming out of school and looking for work as a copywriter. So I took his challenge.

It will push my creativity to the very limits. Do I go over-the-top with it and focus on building a creative message? Or do I concentrate on building a coherent campaign that could be used by the client?

It will challenge my business sense because I've always been a proponent of pushing the creative edge just so far. It's a business, after all, and I want to show a prospective employer that I take it very seriously.

With this product, I can go over the top funny. But it's a very serious product which solves a very serious problem.

You definitely want to know what the product is. Don't you?

It's a drug called Guardian that cattle ranchers give to cows to prevent Scours Disease, which is cow diarrhea. This is a real problem that affects real families. Some have lost as much as half of their herd to this disease. You'd think this campaign would just write itself, but it only serves to bring up in me this concept of creativity for the sake of creativity versus creativity for the sake of business. I've got to figure out how to get this done in a way that proves my creative chops.

But first, I have to deal with this problem.

I've had writer's block for the last 10 years.