Observations from a poker road trip

I woke up at 4:15 last Sunday morning and drove 225 miles, played poker for 8 hours and drove right back. Some would say that points to addiction, but I prefer to think of it as pursuing a goal. I fell short, but the day wasn't a total loss. I learned a few things that day.

The commercials suck, but the product works.
I hate the 5 Hour Energy commercials. A lot. And if you know me, you know that I usually won't buy a product that uses badvertising. But I've become a big believer in the product.
I only slept about four hours before I left, and by the time I hit the Iowa state line, I was yawning. Hard. You know those yawns you get sometimes that can be described as violent? The kind that make your eyes water and your lungs hurt? Yeah... I had those.
I stopped and picked up a 5HE and it worked very well. I had this weird kind of warm sensation, but I was alert and the yawns stopped entirely. The one downfall though, was two hours later I had 5HE burps, which was far worse than any whiskey burp ever.

Dan Aykroyd still has the Blues brother.
I like blues and I was running through stations, because southern Iowa on a Sunday is no place for an anti-country music agnostic to be relying on the radio to help pass the miles. I had about given up and was ready to pop in my wife's new Adele CD when I heard a familiar voice. I'd found Dan Aykroyd's Sunday morning blues show and he does it in the character of Elwood Blues. He shouldn't. Elwood was a crappy harp player and a crappier singer. Pretty good dancer, though. Elwood is nothing without Jake. Come on, Dan. You're a big supporter of blues... have been for years. No one questions your blues cred. Why can't you just do the show as yourself?

It's always nice to see family.
My cousin, Eric lives nearby and also plays. We met at the casino and played for quite a while together, then had dinner. I haven't seen him in a dozen years and it was nice to catch up a little and find that we have more in common than DNA. He had a good run in the tournament, finishing in the money in 8th place.

I hate playing poker against women.
I feel like they always know when I'm lying... er, bluffing. But I can never tell when they are. I also feel bad when I knock one out. I don't have the same feeling of remorse if I knock out a dude. 

Poker-playing football fans play stereotypically.
You can tell a lot about a poker player by the gear he wears. A Raiders fan sat to my left during the tournament. He exemplified every stereotype I've ever witnessed or heard about Raiders fans. When he was winning, he was a cocky, mouthy, condescending turd. When he got beat, he was a sullen, mouthy, disrespectful turd. It would not have surprised me if he would've started launching batteries at me after I beat him in a hand. And it took him entirely too long to get over getting beat.

Two chairs to my left was a Denver Broncos fan. Like his team, he was predictable. He'd use one play for a while then another, just like the Donkeys did. They were a passing team under Elway, then he retired and they were a running team. Sure the passing attack worked for a while, just like it did for this fella. He'd won a few pots, then he just started betting huge. Unfortunately, I could never find cards when he was in a hand. Like all Broncos fans, a little success went to his head, and he was still talking when he won two in a row much longer than he should have been.

Poker tournaments are now my second favorite place to people watch.
Airports are still Number 1, but a poker tourney leap-frogged little league baseball game AND bar on St. Patrick's Day as a great place to people watch. You see the pressure take hold and whatever the person is going through in real life comes through in how he plays. You can tell who is a good person by how he wins and loses hands and how he exits when he's eliminated. You can also tell which douchebags don't tip servers and who thinks it's always his turn to go at a four-way stop.

My Sports List May Be a Little Skewed

No sports list is complete without including the 1980 US Olympic Hockey team. And when I say "no list," I mean "NO LIST."

Biggest Upset

#4 Sea Biscuit beats Man o' War

#3 South Carolina Beats Houston

#2 Villanova beats Georgetown

#1 1980 US Olympic Hockey Team

Most Inspiring

#4 Kerri Strug Sticks the Landing on One Leg in 1996

#3 Kirk Gibson Lifts the Dodgers over the A's in 1988

#2 Jim Valvano's "Never Give Up" Speech

#1 1980 US Olympic Hockey Team

Best True Story that Became a Movie

#4 Outcast race horse owned, trained and ridden by outcasts, beats the most dominant horse of the era

#3 White running back and black running back play for the Chicago Bears, one dies of cancer

#2 Yankee great dying of Lou Gehrig's disease, although it wasn't called that at the time

#1 1980 US Olympic Hockey Team

Best Sports Team Ever to Lift an Entire Nation in a Politically Charged Environment as the World Looked On

#2 South Africa 1995 Rugby World Cup

#1 1980 US Olympic Hockey Team

Best Team Nickname

#4 1984 University of Houston - "Phi Slamma Jamma"

#3 1927 New York Yankees - "Murderer's Row"

#2 1946 St. Louis Cardinals - "Gas House Gang"

#1 1980 US Olympic Hockey Team - "1980 US Olympic Hockey Team"

Basketball Dynasties

#4 Michael Jordan's Chicago Bulls

#3 Bill Russell's Boston Celtics

#2 John Wooden's UCLA Bruins

#1 US Olympic Hockey Team

Best Catches

#4 Ozzie Smith's Bad Bounce Bare-Handed Play

#3 Jim Edmonds Diving Over the Shoulder Catch

#2 Willie Mays' "The Catch"

#1 1980 US Olympic Hockey Team

Most Devastating Hits

#3 Lawrence Taylor Breaks Joe Theisman's leg

#2 Chuck Bednarik Knocks Out Frank Gifford

#1 1980 US Olympic Hockey Team